If I Died

No, I don't want to.  Not at all.  But, I was thinking about it today....if I died, have I made a difference?  Are there those who would not only mourn, but remember who I am?  Would I leave a legacy of faith and of learning?  Who would they remember?  Who would know me?  Who would tell my kids?
This is a driving force in my life.  I want to be known.  I want to be me.  I want to be alive just as I am.
I sang that song growing up......and, while I may have been ok coming to Jesus just as I am, I'm not ok where I am.
I am just so done.  I just don't know what to do about it.
Wait, yes I do.  Wait.  Until I do know.  Until I know the answer.  Until God gives the strength.  Until the right time.  Keep on as I am.  For now.  It's hard.  But, it's where I am.