Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Rest in Peace

Nah, I didn't die.  Just kinda tired and thinking about Ps.4:8....about lying down and sleeping in peace.  Knowing that I am cared for.  My sense of well being has increased.  Not that anything has changed.  Chatted with facebook with a friend and she reminded me again to not walk alone.  To let people in.  She knows me.  I don't know how after all of these years.  It's a little bit strange.  I told her that I talked last night...then I amended, "texted' and she laughed at me.  Baby steps.  Gotta start somewhere. 
I have candles lit.  The cat in a chair.  The chihuahua snuggled up here.  The big dog curled in a ball.  Kids laughing.  And, no husband at home at the moment.  So relieved.  I know he'll come, but for this time, it's very nice.
I need to set some more self care goals.  It's easy to forget.  Easy to let it slide. Mostly, I have to learn how to not freak out at questions.  Have to learn to let the people who love me....actually love me. One thing that has happened is that today I finally realized that I can be a mess and not alone.  Not regularly, I hope.  I like happiness and positiveness and peacefulness too much for that....but, when I am that way, I need to quit hiding out.  Need to be careful who I tell, but after choosing wisely, I need to allow myself that privilege.  Without massive guilt.  That's what I'm going to do for myself.  So that I can rest in peace.
grace to you.

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