Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Dreams and Emails

I had a dream last night of telling him.  I saw that look in his eyes...the one that rarely flashes...is usually controlled.  And, strangely, in my dream, I paused and looked at the look and purposed to remember it when I awoke.  The raw anger.  But, tell him I did.  In my dream.  And, I can tell that means that I've just about worked through things. ;)
I have composed an email in my mind addressing the things we need to address.  I think that will help me to broach things and give him time to think too.
And, I told someone far away.  She didn't take it too well.  All about how it can still work out.  It's funny.  I know that.  I even believe it.  I just can't deal with that right now.  But she wasn't horrible.  I am learning to say what I need to say.  And...without blame.  That is SO hard.  Just want to throw something else out there.  I did that with my one friend, but I am trying not to.  No juicy tidbits.  Just a decision.
Time is coming at the beach.  Found a place.  A good place, I think.  Can't wait to see my boy.  And relax in the most likely rainy weather.  I need it.  It will be wonderful.
grace to you.

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