Sunday, September 30, 2012

moments

life is made up of each little moment.  and they stack up.  i'm trying to learn to make good ones.  i am struggling these days.  i am so done with dealing with him.
but it's like it never ends. 
however, there is so much good.  i worry about why i'm so tired.  never talk about it.  but it frightens me.
and this week i have had pain that he caused...physically.  and it took me awhile to realize why it was bothering me so much.  finally i got that it reminded me of having to perform to make him happy.  that he treated me not like i was special.  and i felt...like a prostitute.  made me sad.  but, at least i finally realized it.
but i wonder why my body hurts so much and why i'm so dearly tired.  i'm going to have to be more healthy.  gotta do all i can.  gotta be there for these kids.
blessings.

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