Sunday, November 4, 2012

Preparation

Lesson plans are written.  Bills are all paid.  Pretty sure.  Doesn't leave a lot of wiggle room, but a little bit.  So, enough to eat and be ok.  That's all I've ever longed for.  I like vacations...but God has always just worked that out.  Beyond that, I'm easily contented with food.  Don't need a lot put away.  Though, I guess that I need to be more responsible about that now.  Just in case?  I've always kind of figured that God has the just in cases covered.
Anyway, I am prepared to have a sub which is huge!  I have to go in and clean up my room, but then, I have two days off.  A four day weekend.  Then, less than two weeks until Thanksgiving.  It's going to go very fast.
I have no plans for Thanksgiving for my kids.  I have nothing to offer them as far as company.  That makes it hard on me.  Between that and Sundays where they are never invited anywhere anymore...well, I feel sad about that.  Like I should be doing better by them.  But, others have to be given time to adjust.  And while I hurt for my children, I have to let them walk through their pain.  I have to be with them.  But, I can't fix it so that people will ask or be kinder or more inclusive....because my kids see right through fake.  That's tough.  But it's reality.  I think that this is one of the reasons that I needed some time off.  To just put my heart at rest for awhile.  Maybe eat with a friend.  I don't know what it will look like, but I do know that sometimes I need to give myself time to process.
Happiest of Sundays!

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