Thursday, December 6, 2012

Sometimes I Wonder

I wonder what I did wrong.  I wonder if I am wrong.  I wonder if I should turn back from this new life I've begun.  After all, he did write a nice letter and all.  I wonder if I am indeed hard hearted.  I wonder if I'm unfair.  I wonder if I'm unkind or completely a b****.  I wonder so many things about my decisions.  I choose to live on my own.  To let go of what I had hoped to have.  And in the midst of my wonderings, I find out that he has changed the date that he's taking the kids out of town.  Without so much as a word.  As if I have no life.  No plans.  With no respect or consideration.  And I remember how things were.  And I remember that I am not hard hearted but simply a woman desiring to do more than barely survive.
I didn't respond to his apologetic tone letter.  I don't know what to say.  Well, nothing that I haven't already said.  Over and over.
I'm done.  No more fighting for me.
I need peace.
blessings.

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