Sunday, March 10, 2013

Battle No More

I am finding an uncanny ability to stand up for myself but refuse to battle.  The difference is marked.  I used to have to battle...to fight...for my mere self.  Just to exist.  To have things be calm.  It was a battle of huge proportions.  Not always a fight.  But a constant drain of resources.  Now, I will stand up for myself, but I will not spend my time engaged in a battle.  No reason.  I have a life to live.  I want to be free.
I will stand for others.  I will fight for my kids.  But I will not engage in that constant battling.  It is destructive.  Spiritual battles are a must.  A constant in life.  But there is my Commander who wages war and strengthens me and sends an army of angels to protect.  Those are just a part of life.
I just don't have it in me to battle about stuff anymore.  Who was right.  Who really cares?  I don't really care if I'm wrong.  It doesn't make or break me.
I'm choosing not to battle as a lifestyle.  It's interesting after 20+ years of having to hold a line just in order to have my own self be present.  Not even to get my way.  Just to be.  Crazy.
But, I don't live there anymore.  I choose not just "getting along", but something deeper.  I choose respect.  For me.  For others.
blessings.

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