Wednesday, March 13, 2013

determined...at one year mark.

not stubborn.  determined.  ready to go the distance.  ready to make a new life.  it's not easy.  it takes a tremendousy amount of learning...and relearning.  i have had to figure out how to be kind to myself.  how to trust without being used.  i have had to change how i think.  how i respond.  i have had to monitor my thoughts.  i don't just like the idea.  it's not just my goal.  i am determined.  i will no longer live as i once did.  a year ago today i walked into a courthouse and put in papers for a legal separation.  i was brave.  i was determined to change my life.  to live differently.  to honor god with who he made me to be.
a year ago.  wow.  he moved out nearly a month later.  not quite, but nearly.  three months from this date, i went to court for finalization.  final.  my ex doesn't hear that.  he doesn't hear that i finally knew that is what i had to do.  he doesn't get that i mean it.  but i am determined to live.  fully.  faithfully.  lovingly.  kindly.  joyfully. peacefully.  and i have had a pretty good year.  a really good year.  though i've cried and struggled and faced a lot of emotional upheaval.  it has been healing.  i have grown.  i have learned.  i am becoming a woman that i will be able to be proud of.
blessings.

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