Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Sometimes I Wonder

Sometimes I wonder how it feels to not be weird.  Or odd.  Sometimes I wonder whether others understand that who I am isn't just someone I've cultivated...but it is part of me.  I am not the outgoing one.  I am not up for anything and everything.  But I find comfort with those I am at home with.  And they aren't dozens.  I'm definitely an introvert.  I suffer with it sometimes.  With the fact that most people have lots of people.  And are comfortable that way.  And I?  Well, I am different.  I relax in the familiar.  Not things to do.  I like doing things.  I like going out.  Or being home.  But I am at home with a few.
Sometimes I wonder.  Am I home to others?  Mostly it doesn't feel like it.  I want to be kind.  I want to be a good friend.  But it always seems like the kind of friend people are supposed to be and who I am are at odds.
So...yes, sometimes I wonder if being me is a good thing.
But lately...though it's hard...though I struggle...I have found.....I like me.  Even if nobody else gets me.  Even if I have nobody to wonder with.  Even if it's painful.  I like me.

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