Saturday, May 18, 2013

Pull it Together

I am having a hard time this afternoon.  Well, I was.  I am pulling it together.  I am working towards just knowing that I can do what needs to be done.  Or, at least, what needs to be done.  I can't do it all.  But I can do some.  I can do what will be enough.
But, sometimes I really miss having family.  I realized today that I was being selfish.  That there are a lot of others in my group of friends having graduation parties and that I should not "hog" help. Then, for a little while, I wanted to have a pity party and think, "yeah, but they have two to accomplish it."  I got over that attitude in short order!! I don't want to be two.  Not with him. So, I am one.  Just one.  And I will do one thing at a time.  Just one.  Then another.  But things keep popping into my mind that I need to do.....it's ok.  Breathe.  It's a party.  It's a celebration.  I'm not going to be a bitch to my kids and I'm not going to be needy.  I'm just going to do it.  And be happy.  And at peace.  I choose this.  Though my heart aches.  I choose it to be my reality.  Peace.  Joy.  Hope.  Love.
And I choose to hold myself to a standard of grace.....not perfection.
blessings.

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