i did it anyway

i invited.  i risked.  i keep doing it.  though it changes nothing.  it just seems to be a part of who i am.  i reach out.  i'm not so good in big groups.  nor in making new friends.  that takes me time.  but, i was always good at getting my other friends together.
so.  i did it.  again.  though i had refrained.  though i tried to answer a question that was asked in the car with just two of us, but it got swept aside.  and i realized how much i love my friends.  and how dear they are to my heart.  and that's why it's so very difficult for me to feel.......uninvited.  like i have to do the inviting.  i'm just so frail.
but it's how it is.
and if i desire the company, it's what i have to do.  but is it enough?  i don't know.
but i have to say.....today was nice.
blessings.