Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Gold Star

I'm pretty sure that I nearly berated myself tonight.  I was in the car returning a movie and all I could think was how tired I was and how I just wanted to take a bath and lay down.  And I thought how lazy I was.  And how so much needs to be done.  And how so many people do it so much better. And then...

I stopped.

I got up at 5:45 this morning and left the house with my teens at 6:50.  I made coffee before we left.  Fed the dogs.  Took the dogs out a couple of times.  Woke up my son.  I drove them 7 miles in the opposite direction of where I work because I enjoy being with them in the morning though it takes time out of my day and makes me get to work later than is always comfortable.  I went to work.  I connected with some kids that need so much more than math facts and reading skills.  I was firm.  I was kind.  Very kind.  All day.  I didn't raise my voice.  I did and re-did things to train them.  To teach them routine and structure.  I left work more than nine hours after I had arrived, dropped a friend at home, went to the bank and went home to COOK A HOMEMADE MEAL.  We sat down and ate together.  We discussed life.  And college stuff.  And fitting in.  I wiped the counters and rinsed dishes.  Loaded the dishwasher.  Left the pans.  Went to return the movie.  And THAT'S where I was when I was telling myself how I need to kick it in gear and do better.
But then I decided.  I don't deserve such bad thoughts, I deserve a gold star and a pat on the back.  I ROCKED this day.  I chose a good attitude.  I chose laughter and love.  I chose happy. I chose faith.  I chose giving.
And suddenly....I even thought that maybe I really might sorta kinda be worthy of a gold star.  Just for those simple things that I did today.
I'm used to living where nothing is enough.
Turns out.....doing what's put before me for today is enough.  I am enough.  Because Jesus is enough.
Gold star it is.
Cool.

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