Sunday, November 3, 2013

hugs

i get a hug or two from my son a day.  and one from my daughter.  some kids at school are huggers.  i'm thankful for this.  i'm tactile.  and while i can ask for hugs, that feels awkward to my introvert self.  if i do it, i'm desperate.  just the contact and comfort is so encouraging. but it's rare.
i think that the reason i was so taken aback by the person who snubbed me this morning is that it happened twice.  and the biggest reason that i was so hurt was that i was getting ready to jump out of my car and go give her a quick hug to encourage her.  to tell her without any words that i support her in whatever she needs.  but, she walked away.  twice.  later, inside, when i walked up to people that she was talking with, she looked across the room and said, "i've got to go see....".  she hustled away and i didn't see her again.
slowly i'm learning to move on.  but some relationships are harder than others.  i've tried not to be too needy.  tried to keep the facts to a minimum.  tried to be as positive as possible.  and i've found myself rather isolated.
it's hard.
but it's real.
and it will get better.

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