Thursday, April 9, 2015

quiet day

i have six kids.  two remembered my birthday.  weird day.  i'm completely content.  i am at ease.  but, i checked my facebook page and got 14 wishes...all time low. ha.  i spent the day with no candles nor being asked what the fam should cook for dinner.  got a couple of texts.  couple of phone calls.  got no cards in the mail today.  it was a strange day.  it was the kind of day that is a little surreal.
i realized that i planned my own day out and the only reason i did was because i wanted to celebrate a friend.  i'm not sad.  just  a bit reflective. came home.  poured a glass of wine. watching a show.  resting.  daughter out with a friend.  spending the night.  life is just this way.
strange.
my friends celebrated five days early.  probably i shouldn't do that anymore.  makes the day of a little bit sad. a little empty.
it was my 50th.  i spent it with a dear friend.  it was enough.
i have to realize sometime that the fact is that i'm not going to be celebrated exuberantly.  i have to realize that it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with me.
a quiet day. a nice day.  a big birthday.  fifty lovely years.
i am blessed.
blessings.

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