Being enough

Ha...just as I wrote the title, a commercial for extenze came on and said "it's not about being enough, it's about being more..." hahahahhaha.
I am suffering from a very diminished sense of esteem.  I know what causes it.  I know truth.  And yet....it still plagues me.  It still steals my peace.  And, it keeps me from doing and being who I was made to be.
How is it that I allowed so much time to go by?  How did I think it was going to turn out?  Without the kids I wouldn't be here.  But.....keeping them well and at peace matters to me.  But living with him when they are gone sickens me.  I told him more than a year ago......without them, our home is not.
I need encouragement.  Period.  Right now it's not enough to know it for myself.