Maybe

Maybe I can like who I am and still change some behaviors.  I am somehow not user friendly for people.  Thankfully, professionally, I am good.  I have that down for work.  And...I care a lot about relationships, so I can learn....I'm teachable.
I just keep thinking....what is that thing that other people have that I just don't? 
How strange it is.  I feel normal inside.  Like the intense emotions and deep feeling and intuitiveness is natural.  But, I'm weird.  Why do I have to be weird, God?  Can't I just fit in and be able to be easily "gotten"?  Please???  Just for awhile???  Because this is hard.
Really hard.
And there was nothing wrong today.  Nothing at all.  I just needed to be connected.  And I blew it.  I interrupted, I messed up communication...I just can't get what I need because I just can't be how people should be.  And then, that made me so sad.  Like horribly sad...and I left...because I knew that I had blown it yet again.
I feel like a jerk when really I just want to be nice.  Relaxed.  I don't need to vent or gossip.  I just sometimes need someone near.  Maybe it's my tactileness too?  I don't know.  I could wonder what's wrong with me for days without figuring it out.
Instead....I'm going to remember that I like me.  I really do.  I'm caring.  And giving.  I'm fun.  I'm adventurous.  I'm loyal.  I'm able to understand things.  I am sensitive.  Though....people may not know that.  I'm a peace seeker.  I like to get along.  I don't like to create waves.  I like to make things easy for people.
I like me.  It's true.  It's a party.  Only of one.  But still...evenso....no matter what...I can't forsake the "me" of me anymore.