recovery

i am having trouble getting back on my feet again.  my hospital stay was amazingly costly and not beneficial at all.  i went on antibiotics and feel better,, but at the end of the ten days, i'm still not even close to "well".  i'm trying so hard, but i am totally worn out.  knocked on my butt worn out.  i fake it pretty good.  i can be polite.  but, today, i felt ill about the thought of going back to school...and i like my job!  i just don't know how i'm going to keep going five days in a row.  really.  and i am determined.  i actually looked for easier jobs today and was applying.
the hospital stay is still hurting me.  a lot.  my veins feel....sore.  My arm hurts where I had the catheterization.  i am totally exhausted.  rest doesn't fix it...though it helps.
recovery is taking time.  and i feel like i'm on a time clock...which is stressful.
but instead, i'm going to breathe and rest i'm going to take the time i have and be thankful that i have it.  i don't have anywhere to complain.  i am just trying to remain upbeat.  trying to be my get'er done self.  and usually, even with the pain and tiredness i have faced over the years, i have been able to pull it off.  right now?  i'm walking on the precipice and hoping not to fall off.
pray for me.
blessings.