gonna be 50 tomorrow. FIFTY. really. amazingly. fabulously. excellently. so cool. really cool. don't even know why it's so exciting, but it is. a gift. i lived. i made it. i did more than just survive. i am growing. living. choosing.
but right now, i'm working to not be sad. working on it. not there yet. happy. but...it's a little hard not to get the mail. it's super hard not to have a mom when it's my birthday. that's it. that's what brings the tears. it's like.....just nobody who actually celebrates that day. the day. my birth.
sad a bit. and that's ok. totally ok. because sad is real. sad is honest. sad is a part of loss.
and right along with the sad is.........joy. for being loved. and cared for. and held through it all.
but right now, i'm working to not be sad. working on it. not there yet. happy. but...it's a little hard not to get the mail. it's super hard not to have a mom when it's my birthday. that's it. that's what brings the tears. it's like.....just nobody who actually celebrates that day. the day. my birth.
sad a bit. and that's ok. totally ok. because sad is real. sad is honest. sad is a part of loss.
and right along with the sad is.........joy. for being loved. and cared for. and held through it all.
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