Calm

The beginning of my evening was rough.  Yet, now...though I came home to my husband still being up....I am calm.  I am blessed by so many good things.  So many amazing people.  I have moments when I am completely overwhelmed by the dread and fear of so much loss and so much responsibility.  And then I remember that my responsibility always remains the same.  Trust.
I had a good night.  In the midst of my struggling.  Intense struggling.  Because there are so many things I want to do right and it feels like I am not....but at some point, I relaxed.  I was just me.  Just being me.  And it was ok.  Because I am loved.  Not always truly loveable.  Sometimes truly a pain in the behind.  But still....and evenso....loved.  Comfort in that.
grace.