Getting to Decide

I had been toying with the idea of using an online service to do my taxes for several weeks.  I was afraid.  Nervous.  Overwhelmed.  Scared.  Got it?  It's not in my comfort zone.  The last time I filled out a tax return it was two sheets and I was done.  I contacted my step mom.  I ate humble pie and asked if she would do my return again this year after I had said that I would most likely do something else and let my ex stay with her.  He loves that she doesn't charge him.  Anyway, last night when I was checking my facebook, there was the turbo tax ad.  I clicked on it.  Then I signed in.  Then I decided that I could at least try it out.  It was free just to go through it.  And...after awhile, I realized that I was going to finish.  I actually had a couple of things to finish this morning because I got too tired last night.  But, I finished.  That felt good.  Really good.  Wrote my ex and told him what to write on the rental house line since I shared all expenses on it equally...though he pays nothing.  I made the deductions 50/50.
Now, I am working on how to create a savings.  Though I have debt.  I want to save again.  And give again. I gave what was in my purse today during the special offering that we have once a month to help anyone in need.  I know a lot of people who have been helped...including my family way back when I was married.  I could choose not to give since it is as if I am a non person at church.  But, it's not about them...not about me....about Him...and helping people.
It was hard to decide about taxes and how to do them.  When it came down to it, I didn't want someone who has so little interest or commitment to me feeling like she needed to do them for me because I'm family.  It felt awkward.  So, I made a different choice.  And it still scares me a little bit...but in an exciting kind of way.
Long weekend.  Fun weekend.  I am exhausted.  Gotta sleep! Blessings.