The Gift of Understanding

I had an old friend call tonight...I mean, really, she's 60.  Just turned today.  Someone that I admire.  Care about.  Respect.  Love.  And have known that she is capable and willing to love me.  Right where I am.  Ever since I was a child.  Though we had a long time apart.  Many years.  We talked long.  She had to go because it's two hours later where she lives.  We laughed so hard.  She understood when I said that I would go to events with my ex but I was afraid that I'd flip the finger.  She was not offended.  She was not judgmental.  She knows it's just blowing off steam.  Feeling ornery.  Trying to get my footing back.  Her ex cheated.  I think that he hurt her in that but even more in other ways.  And in that world that she knew, she grew compassion.  She didn't grow bitterness.  I love that.  I want to be like that.  I want to grow compassion and understanding.  I want to make others feel seen.  Understood.  She understands how awkward it is to be happy.....when church people are around....because they can only tolerate a divorce if the person is then appropriately miserable.  And...I'm not.  She notices it on my pictures.  And we joked that I should have before and after pics posted on facebook so that people could see and understand.  And she said that I should rent an airplane to pull and banner that says "my name is very, very, very, very happy...".  Ha.  Totally funny.  Laughed so hard about that silly idea.  And then that it should also say, "and she doesn't suck anymore...".  hahahhahaha The gift of being understood.  I really needed that tonight.
I don't get sought out much by anyone.  I'm the seeker, not the sought.  The inviter, not the invited.  The initiator.  Even though it is really hard for me.
So, having her call me when we had been chatting on facebook for a few minutes was a gleeful moment.  Special feeling.
Her birthday...but she gave me the gift.  It was marvelous.
I really am happy.  I hesitate to let people know how happy I am.  How relieved.  How absolutely thrilled I am not being married.  It's like letting go of an anchor when you are in the middle of the ocean.  What a relief to not be fighting that battle.
She really laughed when I told her about seeing him in choir.  I was brave.  I smiled.  And strangely, he lost his.  I should smile more.  I should be fearless more.  I should know that while most people don't understand....there are a few who don't only get what I was living through, but understand who I am.  That is a great gift.
blessings.