i get off of work. i feel as if i've been dragged by a horse a dozen miles....through cactus. totally worn. but i choose. make a stop. just make it through this errand. pick up soil. and plants. and last minute grad party stuff. take a step. take another. speed it up. make a choice. move. move some more. load the seven bags of soil...by myself. get home. unload. put in garden begun two days ago. stick plants in ground. water. water flowers. water grass. do laundry. fold laundry. heat leftovers. sit down with kids. eat. figure out the busy upcoming weekend schedule. very busy. many grad parties. grandparents arrive tomorrow. tomorrow is a bonfire. thursday they'll visit grandparents. finals are almost over. i have five and a half days left of school. of work. choose again. just a little more. work on bedroom. hang up some pictures. put laundry away. run bath. pour wine. breathe.
i don't have to do it all. i can do just a little bit. it will be what it is.
and i think that i'm ok with that.
though people will think that i should do more. touch things up. i'm...strangely....peaceful. on fire and working hard too. but not frenzied.
just a little bit.
breathing.
thinking.
praying.
working.
changing my heart
so that the life i desire can be created
breathe.
again.
i'm making it.
i don't have to do it all. i can do just a little bit. it will be what it is.
and i think that i'm ok with that.
though people will think that i should do more. touch things up. i'm...strangely....peaceful. on fire and working hard too. but not frenzied.
just a little bit.
breathing.
thinking.
praying.
working.
changing my heart
so that the life i desire can be created
breathe.
again.
i'm making it.
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