energy

energy is a limited resource.  not just oil and gas and coal, but MINE.  i have had inhibited energy and strength for several years.  i take care to eat good stuff.....though i am not a fanatic...still love my doughnuts.  but i have to take care and i have to make choices.  i choose people.  i choose teaching.  i choose laughter and trips.  i view my energy as currency.  i have to spend it.  i have to invest it wisely.  there's only so much.
i give time to my work.  and loads of time to my daughter.  i have been blessed to have the boys gone and to have these two years with just her.  she deserves it.  i can tell that it it nice for her.  she gets to be a little spoiled.  to be an "only" child after being the youngest of five.
i spend my week working and taking her places and keeping house.  i have a deal with her where i'll do most of the work, because i realize that she's busy.  really busy.  but she has to keep her bathroom tidy and help keep the kitchen nice.  sometimes she does. :)
i choose to give my energy to the kids at school and my family and friends.  that's pretty much it.  that's all i got.  and that's ok.  when i do those things, i know that it was worth it.
but i'm going to keep fighting health wise.  not giving up.  not quitting.  too much livng to do.
but some days, the tank is dry.  then what? well, i just rest.  and i don't worry.  and i don't criticize myself.  i just......rest.  period.  and that's ok.  it's good.  it's beneficial.  it's healthy.  it's knowing what i need and doing it.
so, i'm in bed and it's not quite nine.  and that's ok too.  i know what i need.
the greatest part is that i don't have to explain it to anyone.  i don't have to make excuses.  i just simply go when i can and stop when i can't.
energy.
it's precious.  it's limited.
it's necessary to choose.  daily.  hour by hour.
i'm proud to be making good choices.
blessings.