confidence

confidence hasn't come for me because i got over being scared.  nor because i think that i'll get it right.  it has come as i realize that there is nothing to be lost by failing.  it's just fine to try and not succeed.  it's ok not to have it all together.  it's ok to be where i am at this point in time.  even if it turns out that i get a bad review, evaluation or opinion from others.  it's ok.  it doesn't matter.  it does not define me.  i can walk tall.  i can try new things.  i can fall on my face.  i can not have things together.  i love that.
tomorrow i have a formal observation for teaching.  it's a big deal.  i've changed a lot.  don't get me wrong, it is stressful.  there are hoops to jump through, forms to fill out, follow up meetings.  but, for the first time ever, it's all ok because i know that no matter what the opinion meted out is....i can take it.  i don't have it all together.  i am not a perfect teacher nor human.  i mess up.  i forget things.  that's ok.
i love this time of life.  i feel so....free.
blessings.