Still Walking

It has been awhile since I've written.  I've been working hard and dealing with a lot of things to do.  I have a couple of sons home...one for the summer and one for the year.  I am happy to have them, and I am also having heartache about one.  The resentment/contempt that he has begun to show in little moments have reminded me of his dad.  And that's hard.  It's hard to have someone not ask why, not want to discuss, not want help, but want help....it's really hard to be a single mom of young men.  Their dad plays with them occasionally.  I'm the only catalyst for forward motion.  I'm the only one that they take out any emotional stuff on.  And, right now, I am tired.  School has worn me out.  I love my students and my curriculum and my coworkers.  A large amount of people that I love working with are leaving and my heart is aching.
And, it's good to talk about it.  But my kids don't really care.  I might get an "mmm hmmmm"....from them.  Maybe.
I slept yesterday and that helped a lot.
I'm still walking.
Sometimes I want to say, "your dad was a real jerk to me and that's why I divorced him so quit giving me crap....I had enough for a lifetime."  But I won't.
Just keep walking.
And loving.
And learning how to do things with grace.  Somehow.
blessings.