take care

i have spent the last couple of nights in hotels.  the first was planned.  i'm taking my son to school about seven hours away.  the second night i really wanted to get home.  after 19 miles on the road, i was exhausted.  28..  34.  i kept glancing down at the odometer and being shocked at how little i had gone.  400 to go.  381. 66.  uh oh, this is probably not a good idea.  i stopped in a little town at a mcdonalds parking lot to use the internet.  hotels were expensive that were available.  really expensive...like 800 dollars expensive. so i stopped by a few.  booked.  folks festival was in the cute mountain town.  there were great shops.  it seemed fun.  but i was too tired to even stop for such fun stuff. i drove on.  up and over a pass.  back down.  shaky.  numb.  then i was coming into a dinky touristy town.  it exists for sportsman.  skiing.  rafting.  hunting.  saw a motel.  pulled in.  $77 with a friendly owner and coffee in the morning.  i was giddy.  amusingly so.  since it was built in the 1960's and upgraded in the late 80's.  it was comfortable.  i felt at ease.  i slept.  but more importantly, i rested.  i realized this morning that my tiredness came not only from the 500 miles i had driven in two days and the setting up of my son's apartment.  it came from having been running for awhile.  being needed by many.  i needed to stop.  i needed to get things centered.  to think and pray.  i needed to be a grown up.  i wish i could have had some grown up girl friends with me to enjoy the prettiness.  to eat at a local diner.  but, not this trip.  so, i have rested.  and read.  and slept.  and eaten. cheese, crackers, dark chocolate and a half glass of wine.  it was a lovely dinner.  now, i am hankering for some eggs and bacon, but i don't think that there's such a place around here.  so, in a few minutes, when i'm completely ready and not because i'm rushing, i'll head out and mosey on up the road.  it's long between towns, but the long is beautiful.  jagged peaks and flowered meadows.  gorgeous.  it will be lovely.  especially since i get to do it in daylight.  so happy.
it's the little things.  i am glad that i am learning to take care.  to see me.
boy, those married years did a number on me.  when i first arrived in the parking lot here i was nervous.  then i remembered that i get to choose.  that i need to do what is wise.   that life is not a race or competition.  i should enjoy the moments.
so i did.
blessings.