I am at the beach. The calm of the ocean waves. The beauty of it. The sun glistening. The sound. I love it. Yet, even in the midst of the things that call me most, there can be drama. I tried hard to find something that I could afford and that met our needs. I had requirements that I did not budge from. Room for the boys. Room for grandma. A view of the ocean...and able to hear it too. I couldn't afford ocean front. Not yet. Maybe someday. When I get those houses, it is usually too small for having grandma. I wanted her to have a room of her own. On the floor with the living areas and a bathroom. It took me a long time.
But, when we arrived, it was not as I'd hoped. The boys' room did not have the bunk beds in the picture...instead they had trundles. Ok. Except the mattresses weren't in the trundle. Um. Ok. Odd.
But, you know, there are three separate beds and four boys. The girls have to share a bed. They have a very snug little room.
This house has four bedrooms, two bathrooms, a generously sized living room and a large kitchen. It has what we need to be comfortable. Now, I have to relax and let it be that. I have to not worry about the fact that everyone is not ecstatic. I wanted them to be thrilled. It's my personality.
Right now, I'm having a hard time relaxing until I have things set up for grandma. It will be soon. I'm not too worried. It will happen.
Just need to breathe. But I feel like having a cry first. That's ok too. Crying is an ok thing. I am how I am. Can't change it. I like to see people have their needs and dreams fulfilled.
I'm not sure that I have a real place on this trip. I think that in many ways I was just God's way to provide this opportunity. That's good with me. Keep a low profile. As in now...sitting in a bedroom with a computer enjoying the cool air. The house has pretty ugly decor. Yet.....why is it that I always see possibility? Beauty? I'm easily pleased. Being here is such a total God thing. How do I explain that to anyone in the world?
Legally separated a year ago...as of 15 days ago. Divorced officially. And yet...still getting to have vacations. That's pretty miraculous. I am in awe. I feel like God has given me so very much. Blessed me with the needs and desires of my heart as well as my physical needs. That brings tears of joy to my eyes. The fact that He not only feeds my body, but my soul.
I'm at the beach. I don't know what the time will hold. But.....I know that if I keep my eyes open I will see His hand. I will be the recipient of His mercy. And grace. I know that if I simply don't buy into fussing about the little things that I will be content.
Just have to breathe. Let go.
And make myself up a bed...cuz I am a tired puppy.
Blessings from the beach!!!
I'M AT THE BEACH!!!! wooot woooooot!!!
But, when we arrived, it was not as I'd hoped. The boys' room did not have the bunk beds in the picture...instead they had trundles. Ok. Except the mattresses weren't in the trundle. Um. Ok. Odd.
But, you know, there are three separate beds and four boys. The girls have to share a bed. They have a very snug little room.
This house has four bedrooms, two bathrooms, a generously sized living room and a large kitchen. It has what we need to be comfortable. Now, I have to relax and let it be that. I have to not worry about the fact that everyone is not ecstatic. I wanted them to be thrilled. It's my personality.
Right now, I'm having a hard time relaxing until I have things set up for grandma. It will be soon. I'm not too worried. It will happen.
Just need to breathe. But I feel like having a cry first. That's ok too. Crying is an ok thing. I am how I am. Can't change it. I like to see people have their needs and dreams fulfilled.
I'm not sure that I have a real place on this trip. I think that in many ways I was just God's way to provide this opportunity. That's good with me. Keep a low profile. As in now...sitting in a bedroom with a computer enjoying the cool air. The house has pretty ugly decor. Yet.....why is it that I always see possibility? Beauty? I'm easily pleased. Being here is such a total God thing. How do I explain that to anyone in the world?
Legally separated a year ago...as of 15 days ago. Divorced officially. And yet...still getting to have vacations. That's pretty miraculous. I am in awe. I feel like God has given me so very much. Blessed me with the needs and desires of my heart as well as my physical needs. That brings tears of joy to my eyes. The fact that He not only feeds my body, but my soul.
I'm at the beach. I don't know what the time will hold. But.....I know that if I keep my eyes open I will see His hand. I will be the recipient of His mercy. And grace. I know that if I simply don't buy into fussing about the little things that I will be content.
Just have to breathe. Let go.
And make myself up a bed...cuz I am a tired puppy.
Blessings from the beach!!!
I'M AT THE BEACH!!!! wooot woooooot!!!
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