Our lives are a journey that we walk together not in order to become "good christian women," but rather to draw near to God so that we can reflect His light to those around us. Our stories, our paths, our dreams and our message are all unique. But we hold hands and walk boldly, fearlessly......onward...creating joy, hope, faith and peace in our wake.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Need

Need to get a breath.  Today is a real struggle.  Emotionally I'm barely holding on.  But He is my strong deliverer.  He is here.  He gets why I hurt and He sees my heart.  I am thankful for that.
The need just seems to consume me though.  The need to be away.  To flee.  Fight or flight.  Yep.  That's me.  No fight left.  Unfortunately, no place for flight either.  So, I drove around.  Went to stores.  Annoyed a friend.  Hung around.  Am now home quaking inside as he works outdoors.  I want to SLEEP.  Escape.  Not my norm.  But I want it so badly.  To curl up and cry and go to sleep.
So, instead I am trying to focus on how to become who I need to be.  Not easy.  I have a lot to work on.  God first.  Foremost.  Not on the agenda, but in my very being.  Have to say, I am less religious and closer to Him than before.  But I want more.
I am scared today.  I am wanting to learn not to live that way.
Hope it happens....gotta run.
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