When It's All Been Said

Yep.  All said.  And I'm all done.  But it just drags on.  Like waiting for the stench to go away from a broken rotten egg.  Don't know how much more I can do.
I wish that he would wake up and understand that the pretense doesn't work anymore.  That the kids tell me how stuff is when I'm not around.  That though he feigns gushy, I'm not buying...not anymore.  Wish he would get out of my room.  At least for awhile.  At least give me time to heal.  To rest.  But, it's not going to happen.  I don't want things to be ugly, so here I stay.  I don't want others hurt, so I hurt.  And there's no telling anyone.  And there's no comfort.  And, I'm exhausted from this life.  And the sad thing is that I should have said no a long time ago.  What happened to me?  I believed I had to make it work.  At all costs.  Gee whiz.  That's what I tried to do.
It's like plugging the proverbial dyke with my finger.  Not working so well.
Yep.  Distressed.  Depressed.  Troubled.  Very sad.  Not interested in making small talk with him.  Not interested in his good night dear.  Turns my tummy.  Off I gotta go.  Stole these moments.