faith

faith.  it's turning on the porch light and shoveling the walk just in case.  it's believing that anything can happen without being devastated when it doesn't.  god does amazing things and it's easy to be so disappointed when we are let down.  when our expectations and hopes are crushed.  but, hope is very resilient.  it is painful and awkward.  hope unanswered often leads to embarrassment.  but it shouldn't. there is no shame in hoping.  there is no shame in looking forward to what might  never happen.  i have looked forward to a trip to europe for years.  it might or might not happen and that's ok.  the hope itself brings joy.
so, tonight, in the dark, i went outside and shoveled the walk, turned on the porchlight and looked to see if i had the ingredients for hot toddies.  ok.  no lemons.  well....hmmm.  maybe my faith is not huge since i did not run out and buy some!
but i am happily perched on my clean couch with my crazy dogs.
life is good.  being alive is the gift.
blessings