i am loving my busy, crazy, intense, wonderful life. i laugh and play so very much. and i am learning to let go of what is not healthy to hang onto. of what is not really mine anyway. and it brings peace. mostly.
sometimes i still have to deal with my ex. and it's not something i relish. it is uncomfortable. i am not someone who likes to leave things unresolved. so.....while divorce is a resolution....the fact is that i have to leave it without being able to understand what caused him to treat me with contempt wrapped in charm and commitment. i don't get it. and i don't have to. it's ok to just leave it. to not make it my responsibility to figure out anymore.
i live. i give. i laugh. a lot. i share. i wonder. i think. i reboot. but i don't have to get stuck in the past trying to fix what i couldn't in over 20 years. i can move forward. i can be present in the here and now not wondering what horrible thing about me made him behave how he did. because i took the blame. i tried to change.
but now? now, i enjoy my daughter. a whole lot. she is blossoming. she is living.
now, i allow myself to be me and i get involved in things that work for me. i encourage others. i believe big things. i spur people on. it has been delicious to get to be me. it's so easy not to have to appease all of the time. i love living. giving the life that was given to me.
and now...off to another day of living. blessings!
sometimes i still have to deal with my ex. and it's not something i relish. it is uncomfortable. i am not someone who likes to leave things unresolved. so.....while divorce is a resolution....the fact is that i have to leave it without being able to understand what caused him to treat me with contempt wrapped in charm and commitment. i don't get it. and i don't have to. it's ok to just leave it. to not make it my responsibility to figure out anymore.
i live. i give. i laugh. a lot. i share. i wonder. i think. i reboot. but i don't have to get stuck in the past trying to fix what i couldn't in over 20 years. i can move forward. i can be present in the here and now not wondering what horrible thing about me made him behave how he did. because i took the blame. i tried to change.
but now? now, i enjoy my daughter. a whole lot. she is blossoming. she is living.
now, i allow myself to be me and i get involved in things that work for me. i encourage others. i believe big things. i spur people on. it has been delicious to get to be me. it's so easy not to have to appease all of the time. i love living. giving the life that was given to me.
and now...off to another day of living. blessings!
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