through the tears

sometimes my greatest visions have come through the tears.  my tears.  others' tears.  sometimes it takes tears to act as a magnifying glass of the painful things....and the happy things as well.

here i sit.  second bout in the hospital.  sat here with a friend for awhile  it was nice.  she is calm and easy.  sat here a long while just me.  i wished i'd asked my friend to sit on my bed with me.  i need connection.  need comfort.  it's really hard for me to ask for.  but i've been trying to ask for what i need

through the tears, grief spills out.  through the tears, happiness is baptized.  tears are real. they communicate.

i lost it today.  sobbing trying to talk.  trying to be heard.  my tears unlocked a sense of taking care.  my tears boiled over unchecked.  i apologized, i tried to hold it back, tried to stop the current.  but, i could not.  not while living truthfully.

sometimes tears get us to absolute truth.  that moment when everything else is stripped away

through the tears.
jesus wept.
he knew.
he knows.
he's here.
and he sent a friend to remind me.
blessings.