keeping short accounts

i am getting older.
and, i am more firmly convinced than ever that i want to keep short accounts of wrongs done or words that need to be said.
i need to say what matters. i need to do it for no other reason than the fact that i never know if i'll get another chance.  i remind myself often.  i would rather err on the side of too much and have something happen to me knowing that my heart towards others was known.  i want the ones i love to understand the depth and solidness of the love.  i want them to know how much and how freely god loves them.  no when or if...he loves them...now...forever.
i want to ask questions.  to see people.
i want to say when i've messed up.
i want to do acts of kindness.
i want to be generous.
and the thing is that i don't want to do it to get anything out of it. well, i want the peace of mind that if the interaction is our last interaction then it was meaningful.  i want the sense of calm that comes to me from expressing someone's value.
people are not valued often enough.  and even when they are, they sometimes don't realize it because it is not expressed.
those that we are closest to seem to get the remnants...the dregs.  not just our family, but our friends.  i want to remember that it matters to give a good and kind word.  i want to show in my life that the ones i know and who are in my circle of influence are truly valued.
and if i die, i want the memory to be that i took the time to say that i cared.  may people say and show that they care while there is still time.
blessings.