Our lives are a journey that we walk together not in order to become "good christian women," but rather to draw near to God so that we can reflect His light to those around us. Our stories, our paths, our dreams and our message are all unique. But we hold hands and walk boldly, fearlessly......onward...creating joy, hope, faith and peace in our wake.

Monday, December 15, 2014

long night

i annoyed a cardiologist today by asking questions.  asking to forego a procedure until we knew if i had something else wrong....you know, since i didn't think i was a cardiac patient until a few days ago.  hard to wrap my mind around.  i don't understand.  even though i've had heaviness in my chest and shortness of breath, it doesn't feel like i should be my heart.
but, tomorrow, i've said that i'd do the test.  it's scary.  i am alone.  doctors won't tell me what to do.  no friends around.  kids can't tell me what to do.  i have to decide.  it does scare me, but being here means i should get information.  i should know as much as possible.  my stomach was biopsied.  my blood pressure is crazy low.
my antibiotics helped me feel overall better.  but still...
it's time to do it most likely.
my prayer has been for wisdom.  hard to just pray alone.  but, it is what it is.  god sees.  god hears.  my family knows i love them fully.  my friends too.
now, if i could just find the hair band that i brought with me to the hospital....
blessings.

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