Our lives are a journey that we walk together not in order to become "good christian women," but rather to draw near to God so that we can reflect His light to those around us. Our stories, our paths, our dreams and our message are all unique. But we hold hands and walk boldly, fearlessly......onward...creating joy, hope, faith and peace in our wake.

Monday, December 1, 2014

on being loved

i am loved.  not always first.   not always how i wish.  or dream.  not always as family.  yet, still, loved.  and sometimes it catches me off guard.  takes my words away.  gets my tear ducts moving.  loved.  cared about.  seen.
someone tonight reached out with empathy and kindness about me being feverish and sick.  so very kind.  brought me to tears.  i'm not used to it.
and for thanksgiving, when i thought that my son and i were going to be flying solo, an invite came.  not the first choice.  asked because plans fell through.  but, asked.  and i was nearly unable to respond.  how it could be that i am so blessed.  and i have changed so much.  it's ok that i'm not always chosen.  it's ok if i come later on the list.  it's ok.   i am still loved.
and at work, there are a few that i know genuinely care.  deeply.  not just the professional relationships, but some that see me.  get me.  reach out.  and it is profoundly wonderful.
being loved is soothing. calming.  being loved nurtures my soul.  it comes when i least expect it.
i am at ease with love these days.  i am affectionate and kind.  i give gentleness to others.  i reach out.  i do it without assuming that i'll get anything in return.  and, often, i do not.  that's ok.  i am whole.  i am complete.  god is the other piece.  i am just made more filled by others.  more rounded out.  and i love that.
i wrote to the aunt that doesn't write me.  just well wishes.
didn't get much in return, but it was who i am to reach out.  so, i did.
life is beautiful.  it's short.  i love reaching out.
now, i'm a sick puppy.  need to sleep.
blessings.

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