Me and the Flowers

Rain.  Rain.  Rain.  wee bit o sun.  Rain Rain Rain Rain.  little bit of warmth.  Rain Rain Rain.  sun.
And my flowers have sprouted and grown and thrived.  Some seem  a little shocked by the massive amounts of moisture.  This is an arid state, you know.  But, overall, all seems well.  The little beauties are growing.
Me too.  In spite of the emotional rains that come.  I am learning to grow.  Learning to do what i need to do.  I got a credit card.  I got hotel reservations for my trip.  I rented a house to stay in on my trip.  I have worked nearly 60 hours this week....no, that doesn't include driving time.....and this means that I have earned the gas money.  I think that I even have earned enough to go out to eat somewhere nicer a time or two.  I'm so excited.  It's important to me.  I need to do this.
Next a car will come.  He is mad at me.  Keeps throwing out worries.  Has never ever once said that if this is what I really need that he'd like to help out.  Nope.  Because he wouldn't.
But I can still grow.  I can be kind even though these things that I have to say are hard.  And, I can still enjoy.  It's alright to smile and have joy.
I have some major worries.  Eventually I will share them here.  For tonight, I am simply too incredibly tired.  Going to the couch.  Not the floor tonight.  Well, unless I get a migraine.  Maybe a nap tomorrow after doing something fun.  And maybe even some gardening.  I would like that.  But, I am going to practice no guilt.
Practice.  Refine.  Learn.
I have been doing a lot of that at my jobs.  I think that I might have to look for other jobs besides for teaching too.  Sigh.  But, whatever comes, I am less worried now.  I can walk into something and learn.  My confidence is growing.  Much of the time.  Sometimes it bottoms out.  I cried today at one of my schools.  That's part of the journey too.
Wherever you are and however your relationship is, know that you never walk alone.  And, I'm praying for you right now.