walking the dogs today, i celebrated. i had been berating myself that i don't walk them every day. more like twice a week. but then i realized...it's twice more than before. i am making progress. i am changing. it doesn't all stick right away, but it is happening. i am finding out how to make it. on my own. yet not on my own at all.
then, i was out running errands and there was a poor person with a sign. i hesitated. then, rolled down the window and handed him a ten. hi smiled at me with clear eyes and kindness. he said thank you and god bless. i said "have a great saturday." and as i pulled away, i breathed. i spent too long being told that giving had to be responsible. that it had to be wise. but where in the bible does it say that? it says to be wise with words. wise with thoughts. wise with actions. but it says to be generous in giving. i can't be responsible for what people do with the money. i can't even judge it. they are where they are. just as i am. doing the best they can. just as i am. but i was so chastised about money things that giving became a stress. oh, my ex gave to the united way...and a missionary...wrote them off on his taxes...had them taken automatically out of his account. just a bit. not much. but, i want to give. i want to see what god does. i want to see their eyes. i want to celebrate a moment of human kindness. i want to have life touch life. i want to see hope spark.
i am celebrating the happiness of my depths. not just of outward things, but of things of the spirit.
i am celebrating. i am happy. genuinely happy. and learning to find peace in being me. even if me is unacceptable to him. or to others.
I am certain that there is nothing better for a man than to be glad, and to do good while life is in him. Ecclesiastes 3:12
blessings.
then, i was out running errands and there was a poor person with a sign. i hesitated. then, rolled down the window and handed him a ten. hi smiled at me with clear eyes and kindness. he said thank you and god bless. i said "have a great saturday." and as i pulled away, i breathed. i spent too long being told that giving had to be responsible. that it had to be wise. but where in the bible does it say that? it says to be wise with words. wise with thoughts. wise with actions. but it says to be generous in giving. i can't be responsible for what people do with the money. i can't even judge it. they are where they are. just as i am. doing the best they can. just as i am. but i was so chastised about money things that giving became a stress. oh, my ex gave to the united way...and a missionary...wrote them off on his taxes...had them taken automatically out of his account. just a bit. not much. but, i want to give. i want to see what god does. i want to see their eyes. i want to celebrate a moment of human kindness. i want to have life touch life. i want to see hope spark.
i am celebrating the happiness of my depths. not just of outward things, but of things of the spirit.
i am celebrating. i am happy. genuinely happy. and learning to find peace in being me. even if me is unacceptable to him. or to others.
I am certain that there is nothing better for a man than to be glad, and to do good while life is in him. Ecclesiastes 3:12
blessings.
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