Relief. Blessed peace. Of heart. Of mind. Of soul. Real. Deep. Abiding. A sense of feeling complete. I didn't have that married. And birthdays were depressing. Totally. Horribly. He had a way of being so about him in everything. Even my birthday.
Today I was given the best gifts. All of them have to do with time. Time at home because a snow day was called. Truly...a miracle. A gift from God. Time with a friend. Who had other things to do. Who really likes to stay home. But went out to soup and salad with me and to hang out at the bookstore. Most people would view that a waste of time. She made it feel really nice. Time with my kids...who decided to take me out to dinner. They were even going to pay. I told them to save their dollars. ;) They picked a nice restaurant. I ate soup again. They tried different things. We ordered two desserts to share. It was fun. Relaxed. No agenda. No one center of attention. Everyone just talking and sharing. Pleasant.
So much better than a year ago. A year ago, their dad had left two days before. It was horrible to try to be normal because we didn't know what normal was yet. Now we do. Now we know that we are each just who we are. That we need time still to heal. That we love each other. That we are making it. That we can be real.
It has been a growing, good year. I have learned to be fearless on so many fronts. It's amazing. I feel blessed. I am deeply thankful. I am provided for.
God keeps on giving to me. Love that. I want to show His heart to others by being giving. And by accepting too.
A good day. To celebrate the difference a year makes. And to realize how long it takes to really get over so much pain. But that it is possible.
blessings.
Today I was given the best gifts. All of them have to do with time. Time at home because a snow day was called. Truly...a miracle. A gift from God. Time with a friend. Who had other things to do. Who really likes to stay home. But went out to soup and salad with me and to hang out at the bookstore. Most people would view that a waste of time. She made it feel really nice. Time with my kids...who decided to take me out to dinner. They were even going to pay. I told them to save their dollars. ;) They picked a nice restaurant. I ate soup again. They tried different things. We ordered two desserts to share. It was fun. Relaxed. No agenda. No one center of attention. Everyone just talking and sharing. Pleasant.
So much better than a year ago. A year ago, their dad had left two days before. It was horrible to try to be normal because we didn't know what normal was yet. Now we do. Now we know that we are each just who we are. That we need time still to heal. That we love each other. That we are making it. That we can be real.
It has been a growing, good year. I have learned to be fearless on so many fronts. It's amazing. I feel blessed. I am deeply thankful. I am provided for.
God keeps on giving to me. Love that. I want to show His heart to others by being giving. And by accepting too.
A good day. To celebrate the difference a year makes. And to realize how long it takes to really get over so much pain. But that it is possible.
blessings.
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