Discover. The card. My ex has not opened a new account. I am still listed on his. Though I have no card. AND this means that I am still obligated to repay it should he not. Even if he dies. Yes. Really. Why oh why did he not hear what the judge said? Why oh why does he make everything so stinking hard? Why oh WHY does he never ever ever stop and see how others feel? I don't know. I have never understood. I certainly won't be able to figure it out now. But I do know that it's true.
He's not too nice. He is fake.
And I have to go to a banquet that he'll be at tonight. For graduating seniors. At our church. In the youth group. Where he teaches. And I wonder if he'll be there. And I suddenly had the horrifying thought that he might try to sit by us. AAAAaaaaahhhhh. Need wine. Really. A nice huge glass before I go. But I won't. I don't have any. A tranquilizer could be nice too. But I don't have those either.
So. I just face it. One foot in front of the other. One breath at a time. Hope we don't make a scene. My son would be mortified. Totally.
Maybe a good cry would do it, but there's not time.
Being a mama is a blessing. Huge. Wonderful. But in this time with my son, it is PAINFUL. He doesn't want to be with his dad. I respect that. And I hope and pray it changes. In his time. As he heals. But until then.....I've got to figure out how to breathe and get through all of this month. Somehow. I know. I will be carried.
blessings.
He's not too nice. He is fake.
And I have to go to a banquet that he'll be at tonight. For graduating seniors. At our church. In the youth group. Where he teaches. And I wonder if he'll be there. And I suddenly had the horrifying thought that he might try to sit by us. AAAAaaaaahhhhh. Need wine. Really. A nice huge glass before I go. But I won't. I don't have any. A tranquilizer could be nice too. But I don't have those either.
So. I just face it. One foot in front of the other. One breath at a time. Hope we don't make a scene. My son would be mortified. Totally.
Maybe a good cry would do it, but there's not time.
Being a mama is a blessing. Huge. Wonderful. But in this time with my son, it is PAINFUL. He doesn't want to be with his dad. I respect that. And I hope and pray it changes. In his time. As he heals. But until then.....I've got to figure out how to breathe and get through all of this month. Somehow. I know. I will be carried.
blessings.
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