fearless one...fearless wonder

i went to my grandson's fifth birthday party.  only for a little while.  my ex had signed up to go on facebook when it was first posted.  today, i had all of the teens with me.  we went shopping for the boy. he was so much fun to shop for.  and i said that i'd go for awhile and then have to go run errands.  which i did.  but, i knew i couldn't stay that long.  small house.  small yard.  minimal amount of adults.  a little awkward.  but i went.  got there early.  ex got there late.  we crossed by about 20 minutes.  then i exited politely while people weren't around.  my son got my grandson and they came out and said goodbye.  i went shopping for my graduates dress clothes.  came home.  made cobbler.
i am pretty worn.  this is going to be a tough month.  tomorrow night is the senior banquet at the church.  my ex is involved with the youth group.  mercy.
but i am fearless.  i don't have to back off when i'm afraid....i can move forward.  and when i want to move away and avoid, that's not being a coward, that's being smart enough to know what i need to thrive.
stilllll.....
it's gonna be stinkin' hard.  he pretends all is well.  like we are married.  maybe separated.  certainly not divorced.  makes it super awkward.
but...what does it matter?  what others think really doesn't effect me or my life except in my emotions.  what god says i am is who i really am.
blessings.