I've learned a lot about physical pain in the last many years of my life. Mostly, I've learned that it can be relentless. My body does better now. I am better. But the pain does not go away. I've sometimes wondered if it ever shows. Wondered if getting used to it was a bad idea. But, I don't think so. I am glad to not be on drugs. Glad not to be missing out on life. And, generally, I have become a master at managing it. However, this last week or so has nearly kicked my butt. I need to get back on to taking all of my nutritional stuff AND eating well AND exercising. I need it. It helps. It also helps with this belly fat that just makes me less comfortable.
I find myself deep breathing again. Haven't done that so much in the past year. Mostly, I do better at taking care of me in the first place. I guess I've kind of fallen down on the job. I've been too busy. Too much chaos. Not enough still and quiet. That is coming. I have planned it in. I need to remember it. Take the time in my mornings. I have gotten so intent on getting work done before I go to work and coming home and doing work. Last night, just before dark, I was out getting rid of some weeds that have been bothering me. And work isn't bad. It's just that I had been going since six am. I need to build chill time into each day. And a vacation every year at least. It's what I need. Right now, I'm working for my beach time. And I'm not whining about the work. It's actually a good thing. I just need to find balance. Again. New job. New schedule with the kids home. It will happen. I am able.
The good news is that in this new stage of life, I am able to make changes and choices. I am able to go to bed earlier. Or take a nap. Or buy what I need to be eating. I am able to just feel lousy and not have to make it all better for my ex. That was wearying.
My body hurts. But my spirit is joyous. Flying. Exhilarated. I am alive. I am thankful. Pain is just a thing.The thorn in my side. The splinter in my finger. It's not going to steal the precious things. Love. Peace. Joy. Hope. Gentleness Patience. I hold those closer than the pain. And yet, embrace the pain as a reminder rather than a foe. A reminder that life is short and should be lived fully. Completely. Might as well use up every little bit of it. No good saving it for......death. Kinda silly,
My attitude and choices will affect me more than what is hurting. Guess that's why God said to focus on good, on excellent. Guess that's why He showed me all of those people in the Bible with struggles and hurts. To give me courage. To make me fearless. To let me see that a life is a gift and can change the world. But only if the liver of the life doesn't give up. Give in. Give out. Only if they give it back to God to make possible. He makes my life work. Even with pain.
I love my life.
blessings.
I find myself deep breathing again. Haven't done that so much in the past year. Mostly, I do better at taking care of me in the first place. I guess I've kind of fallen down on the job. I've been too busy. Too much chaos. Not enough still and quiet. That is coming. I have planned it in. I need to remember it. Take the time in my mornings. I have gotten so intent on getting work done before I go to work and coming home and doing work. Last night, just before dark, I was out getting rid of some weeds that have been bothering me. And work isn't bad. It's just that I had been going since six am. I need to build chill time into each day. And a vacation every year at least. It's what I need. Right now, I'm working for my beach time. And I'm not whining about the work. It's actually a good thing. I just need to find balance. Again. New job. New schedule with the kids home. It will happen. I am able.
The good news is that in this new stage of life, I am able to make changes and choices. I am able to go to bed earlier. Or take a nap. Or buy what I need to be eating. I am able to just feel lousy and not have to make it all better for my ex. That was wearying.
My body hurts. But my spirit is joyous. Flying. Exhilarated. I am alive. I am thankful. Pain is just a thing.The thorn in my side. The splinter in my finger. It's not going to steal the precious things. Love. Peace. Joy. Hope. Gentleness Patience. I hold those closer than the pain. And yet, embrace the pain as a reminder rather than a foe. A reminder that life is short and should be lived fully. Completely. Might as well use up every little bit of it. No good saving it for......death. Kinda silly,
My attitude and choices will affect me more than what is hurting. Guess that's why God said to focus on good, on excellent. Guess that's why He showed me all of those people in the Bible with struggles and hurts. To give me courage. To make me fearless. To let me see that a life is a gift and can change the world. But only if the liver of the life doesn't give up. Give in. Give out. Only if they give it back to God to make possible. He makes my life work. Even with pain.
I love my life.
blessings.
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