sometimes i struggle. i fuss. i worry. i wonder. i muse. because sometimes it's hard being me. i am kinda different. kinda a pain. kinda just not out of the same old mold. i spent much of my marriage trying to find how to fit in. how to make things work easier for him...or for others. and in this aftermath time, i am finding that i have to rediscover what it is to be uniquely me. not me making it good for everyone. not me fitting in to make all ok. just....me.
it's harder than it sounds. sometimes i don't even realize how much i was changed. and frankly, some for the good. rough edges get rubbed off and all of that. but, some for the bad. that i lost the thrill of loving what i love. i am easily amused. i love beauty. i am inspired by the glow of the moon or the setting of the sun. i marvel at a flower opening. really.
i like adventures. sometimes they are in my own home. sometimes they are far away. i like having a hope or dream and working towards it. from painting a room to traveling to foreign lands. doesn't matter....what matters to me is taking that journey from hope to fruition.
i guess that i am struggling today. hard to know what my kids might hear. being different is not ok with my husband's family. and i am different than them.
and frankly, i feel lonely already. and yet, though it's going to be hard, i know that it's also a gift. and i will try to look at it that way. after i have my cry and am ready to move on.
i am uniquely me. the only one. and you are uniquely you. if we don't take our places in the world as the people we were made to be, the world will be lacking. you might be the inspiration for someone else.
uniquely. one of a kind. different. special. ;)
blessings.
it's harder than it sounds. sometimes i don't even realize how much i was changed. and frankly, some for the good. rough edges get rubbed off and all of that. but, some for the bad. that i lost the thrill of loving what i love. i am easily amused. i love beauty. i am inspired by the glow of the moon or the setting of the sun. i marvel at a flower opening. really.
i like adventures. sometimes they are in my own home. sometimes they are far away. i like having a hope or dream and working towards it. from painting a room to traveling to foreign lands. doesn't matter....what matters to me is taking that journey from hope to fruition.
i guess that i am struggling today. hard to know what my kids might hear. being different is not ok with my husband's family. and i am different than them.
and frankly, i feel lonely already. and yet, though it's going to be hard, i know that it's also a gift. and i will try to look at it that way. after i have my cry and am ready to move on.
i am uniquely me. the only one. and you are uniquely you. if we don't take our places in the world as the people we were made to be, the world will be lacking. you might be the inspiration for someone else.
uniquely. one of a kind. different. special. ;)
blessings.
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