dear

life is dear.
working is dear.
relationships are dear.
the ability to appreciate beauty is dear.
i am growing more and more in the awe of seeing what is dear.
how the simple and nearly mundane are actually the most precious things of all.
the smell of coffee.
the feel of the sun on a face upturned.
work that brings joy.
a random smile.
peace of heart.
i am full of those things that are dear.
in realizing how dear they are,
it sparks the deepest kind of gratitude.
not contrived nor trying hard
intrinsic.
it has become so much a part of me that it is shocking that others don't see.
don't see the rainbow in the sprinklers and marvel.
nor hear the giggle of a child and feel warmed.
see the wiggles of a puppy and belly laugh.
it comes down to a realization that
each breath
each moment
each eye blink
each experience
each heartbeat
each nerve response
each sight
each sound
each and every piece that makes up life
is the most precious of gifts.
dear.
very dear.
and, for me, to use the word dear was a step of epic proportions.
my ex used to use the word "dear" as my name.
but, i wasn't dear to him.
it was actually one of the things that caused the rift to grow.
silly?
no.  i am a person who is moved by words.  to misuse the word,
to make a mockery of it,
to take away the meaning of being precious and turn it into meaning
"am i not good for being so nice to you?"
was horrible.
yet, now,
dear is made new.
all things are made new.
i am becoming whole again.
i am finding the gift of life in all of it's simple pieces to be
dear.
truly dear.
blessings.