prayer

i believe in prayer.  i believe because i believe that there is One who answers.  readily.  kindly.  gently.  purposefully.  he has never let me down.  he hears my groans.  he meets my needs before i know how to do it.  he helped me fix a washing machine today.  really.  he is always more than just there, he is fully present. and that feels so good.  it's like he was beside me today telling me that i could do it and then allowing me to feel good about myself.  i didn't have that in marriage. sometimes i forget how capable i am.  sometimes i get so fearful.  and then, He comes alongside and cheers me on.  he speaks love to me.  he heals my heart.
prayer.  talking to the most amazing friend.  i can't even express it to anyone verbally because it would sound all super christian.  it's not.  it's just a reveling in his presence.  in knowing that he didn't leave me.  in knowing that he is healing my heart and soul and building me back up.
today i was very accomplished.  i did a lot of work.  i did things that i would rather not have to do.  but i did them instead of letting them hang over my head.  and i feel good.  very good.
all because he heard the prayer of my heart as i wondered how i would pay for yet another bill.
go figure....i didn't have to AND i got the benefit of a boosted self esteem.  double win.
blessings.