Our lives are a journey that we walk together not in order to become "good christian women," but rather to draw near to God so that we can reflect His light to those around us. Our stories, our paths, our dreams and our message are all unique. But we hold hands and walk boldly, fearlessly......onward...creating joy, hope, faith and peace in our wake.

Sunday, April 19, 2015

easy like a sunday morning....

ha.
whoever wrote that song wasn't a churchgoer who got divorced.

i never knew how hard sundays would get when i got divorced.  i didn't know that i would be mostly ostracized, that my kids and their needs would fade next to the victim status of their dad.  i didn't know that at some point, i would peek my head back out and go back to see those people with whom i had done life for over twenty years...that i would let down my guard...share my heart...beg them to hear my daughter.....and then have them report back to her dad.  that is just wrong.

so, i'm home this morning.  i got up.  a beautiful day.  worked on cleaning my stove top.  praying.  talking to my daughter.  she's going to church today.  she has a date with someone to go jewelry shopping for prom after church.  i will never tell my daughter where the leak came from that made her dad approach her with his bit of guilt.  that's my burden to carry.  at this point, she thinks it was her brother who is in tight with her dad.  that's fine.
but, i'm home.  with a renewed understanding of why it doesn't work very well to attend the same church as your ex.  but i think i've adjusted to it.  though it sucked.  though it wasn't fair.  i'm fine.  i'm not afraid to go anymore.  i jumped that hurdle by going back.  but, it's not the best thing because i can't be myself and open and honest without people reporting back to him.  so, i choose not to do that.

it's a lovely day.  easy like a sunday morning.  laid back.  comfortable.  i am blessed.

https://www.facebook.com/TheJourney.Me/photos/a.1435355760062998.1073741828.1435353456729895/1573940109537895/?type=1

This site shows a diagram of the journey of grief.  It's beautiful.

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