Single Mom Life

i'm a strong woman.
i have good character
and a good sense of humor to go with it
i am positive and encouraging
i am hopeful.
yet,
sometimes,
when i'm doing one of the two dozen chores
that need to be done
i find that there
is a bit of sadness
a bit of wishing that
i didn't have to get it all done
don't get me wrong
i don't want a husband
i just want my kids or someone
to sometimes see how lovely it would be
if they said
"i'll take care of that"
from the brakes on the car
to the mowing
to the room that needs finished
to the trim work
to the garden
to the transmission fluid
to the headlights
to the dinner
to the breakfast
to the tree trimming
to the making a she shed
to the barn cleaning
to the weeding
to all of it.
all
of
it.
all
all
all
and instead of anyone doing things
i get remarks about how i need to get something done
or how it needs to be done
duh, like i wasn't aware

but, today i loosened the soil around the peonies and roses.
i shined my headlights
with toothpaste and a scrub brush
i vaccuumed the kitchen
i moved some of the hay to the compost pile
i sat down.
and i feel like i need to get up and do more
but i have to transport my kid
twice more today
really

and i love my life
i just wish
that occasionally
someone would see
the job that i'm doing
while working full time
and parenting full time
but they don't see.
at all.
blinders.

stillllll
i am so full of joy
so happy
so content
and i'm ok with not getting everything done
and with not knowing where the money will come from
and feeling a little bit unable
because in all of that dwells faith
real faith
i have no control
all i have is willingness
that's it

so,
off i go to do some more and love living
after all, i want another fifty years, so i gotta get a move on

blessings.