Our lives are a journey that we walk together not in order to become "good christian women," but rather to draw near to God so that we can reflect His light to those around us. Our stories, our paths, our dreams and our message are all unique. But we hold hands and walk boldly, fearlessly......onward...creating joy, hope, faith and peace in our wake.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Irritating

My ex made plans for dinner for my sons last night at home before he goes back to college.  Really, he did.  Without communicating with me.  At all.  When he was SUPPOSED to have plans with another son to go to an arcade for the day.  He canceled that and made plans to have the kids for dinner.  Really?  Sometimes, he amazes me.  He doesn't buy the airline ticket to send him back.  He doesn't offer to help.  He doesn't take them to get something for school...but he takes the last night home.  A night that my son doesn't have to work.  Sooooo.  I guess we'll do something Friday night.  And I WILL take my son to the airport.  Somehow it hurts me. 
He has the money now to play with them.  They are going golfing again next month.  They ate steak on Sunday.  Seriously, I am working out how to buy groceries for them.  They do get it though.  Because they understand economics.  They get that paying for one to live is a lot less.  They know that he helps us too.  But, somehow, it doesn't feel fair to me that he gets all of the fun and I get the mundane things like....say, buying shoes.  Oh well.  I get a really good part.  Their love and company.  He gets love too.  So...it's fair enough.  It's just hard on me and causes me irritation. But I guess I'll just suck it up and deal with it.  I don't want to tell the kids no after he already asked....and obviously he isn't into letting me know...so, it is what it is.  He is who he is.  I don't have to live there anymore.  I will choose to enjoy the times we have together.  And the times we have apart. 
I do think it odd that he doesn't ask what might be convenient since I take care of them 24/7.  Doesn't seem to matter to him. 
Ok, I've gritched long enough.
Time to sleep and rejuvenate and count my blessings.  Which are plentiful.
blessings.

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