i get by without the need for much hoopla about me. i don't require constant ego stroking. i get along just fine with a quiet place and a meaningful job to do.
but. lately. i don't feel as if i am appreciated. i know that i must be. probably am. but it just feels like what is told about me. what is heard about me. what is verbalized....is how i need to improve. and it's true. i do. i have a lot of things that are subpar.
especially as i work through all of the emotions and struggles from the pain of my marriage. it affects me. and it probably makes me not that much fun to be around.
and it feels like i need to be a lot more as a teacher. but it just feels like though that is true.....it would be nice to get built up in the things that are good...that are going right.
and so, i was stressed earlier tonight. feeling sorry for myself just a little bit.
but i'm better now.
i have to choose how to feel. i have to choose my attitude.
things can keep pounding away at me, but i ultimately am responsible for how i act and for what i choose. i am learning how to do it better.
i nearly lost it in a puddle of tears today.
but. i didn't.
people may not see me.
they may not appreciate.
or. they may appreciate, but not mention it.
or. they may say something.
no matter what they do. or say. or don't say. or think. or don't think.
it doesn't really matter.
i want to do what i can with who i am to touch other people's lives.
when i get to the end of my life, i want to know inside that i cared as deeply as i could. that i gave my heart.
i can't change what others give me.
but i can remember to appreciate myself.
i almost forgot that today. i almost...and actually did, for a few minutes....wished to be like other people. but i'm not. and i need to be an advocate for myself. i need to appreciate who i am. i need to enjoy who i am. i need to be thankful for what i can do.
yep, it HAS been hard. i respond to kindness. to words. to gentleness. to caring. so....yeah, it's hard to hear the negative stuff, the unflattering stuff. it's hard to come up short in others' eyes.
but as for me, i think i've done well. i know i have. i've seen kids learning. it's AMAZING.
so...i'll keep at it.
blessings.
but. lately. i don't feel as if i am appreciated. i know that i must be. probably am. but it just feels like what is told about me. what is heard about me. what is verbalized....is how i need to improve. and it's true. i do. i have a lot of things that are subpar.
especially as i work through all of the emotions and struggles from the pain of my marriage. it affects me. and it probably makes me not that much fun to be around.
and it feels like i need to be a lot more as a teacher. but it just feels like though that is true.....it would be nice to get built up in the things that are good...that are going right.
and so, i was stressed earlier tonight. feeling sorry for myself just a little bit.
but i'm better now.
i have to choose how to feel. i have to choose my attitude.
things can keep pounding away at me, but i ultimately am responsible for how i act and for what i choose. i am learning how to do it better.
i nearly lost it in a puddle of tears today.
but. i didn't.
people may not see me.
they may not appreciate.
or. they may appreciate, but not mention it.
or. they may say something.
no matter what they do. or say. or don't say. or think. or don't think.
it doesn't really matter.
i want to do what i can with who i am to touch other people's lives.
when i get to the end of my life, i want to know inside that i cared as deeply as i could. that i gave my heart.
i can't change what others give me.
but i can remember to appreciate myself.
i almost forgot that today. i almost...and actually did, for a few minutes....wished to be like other people. but i'm not. and i need to be an advocate for myself. i need to appreciate who i am. i need to enjoy who i am. i need to be thankful for what i can do.
yep, it HAS been hard. i respond to kindness. to words. to gentleness. to caring. so....yeah, it's hard to hear the negative stuff, the unflattering stuff. it's hard to come up short in others' eyes.
but as for me, i think i've done well. i know i have. i've seen kids learning. it's AMAZING.
so...i'll keep at it.
blessings.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Go ahead. Make my day. Leave me a comment.