whew. yesterday was our thanksgiving. there were about 24 people here...i think...
but it wasn't the how many. it wasn't even what we ate....which was satisfying, delicious and abundant. it was something else for me. something more. something deeper.
it was good.
i don't mean that everything came off well. that i cooked the most amazing things ever. i don't mean that my house was martha stewart ready. or that my table was set with the finest. i don't mean that i had the most beautiful desserts. i don't mean that i was socially adept. or that i led the conversation to deep and meaningful content. i didn't even pray...we sang the doxology and then the kids were ready to eat. :) and i decided that was ok. but i have an idea for a new tradition next year. a thankful jar where we put our thanks and we draw them out and read for each other. i really didn't do anything special.
but it was special. a great kind of good.
it was novel.
because finally.
i felt like me.
i felt relaxed.
it felt good having people in our home.
i didn't feel like i just had to endure it.
and i actually wanted to do it again.
it was peaceful. to me.
i'm not certain that it was the "best ever" for anyone.
all i know is that i was calm. serene. at peace.
and for THAT i give thanks.
it has been a long time. i wasn't worried or troubled.
i was happy.
i don't think that i made it into a single photo. but i made some great memories. holding a baby...alone in my room....in the darkening evening light. playing with my kindergarten grandson and having him roll all over me on the couch and in the chair. nobody to observe. just us. again, just perfect. i guess it's part of who i am.
i had a good day. i had a fabulous day. because i know for certain that peace is one of the greatest gifts.
to sit around the table without tension. wow. unbelievably marvelous.
like fresh, cool water on a hot day.
nobody else had to get it. or feel it. or know it.
but i wondered if they did.
too awkward to ask...."hey, did you notice how peaceful i was?" ha.
i'll just savor it.
blessings.
but it wasn't the how many. it wasn't even what we ate....which was satisfying, delicious and abundant. it was something else for me. something more. something deeper.
it was good.
i don't mean that everything came off well. that i cooked the most amazing things ever. i don't mean that my house was martha stewart ready. or that my table was set with the finest. i don't mean that i had the most beautiful desserts. i don't mean that i was socially adept. or that i led the conversation to deep and meaningful content. i didn't even pray...we sang the doxology and then the kids were ready to eat. :) and i decided that was ok. but i have an idea for a new tradition next year. a thankful jar where we put our thanks and we draw them out and read for each other. i really didn't do anything special.
but it was special. a great kind of good.
it was novel.
because finally.
i felt like me.
i felt relaxed.
it felt good having people in our home.
i didn't feel like i just had to endure it.
and i actually wanted to do it again.
it was peaceful. to me.
i'm not certain that it was the "best ever" for anyone.
all i know is that i was calm. serene. at peace.
and for THAT i give thanks.
it has been a long time. i wasn't worried or troubled.
i was happy.
i don't think that i made it into a single photo. but i made some great memories. holding a baby...alone in my room....in the darkening evening light. playing with my kindergarten grandson and having him roll all over me on the couch and in the chair. nobody to observe. just us. again, just perfect. i guess it's part of who i am.
i had a good day. i had a fabulous day. because i know for certain that peace is one of the greatest gifts.
to sit around the table without tension. wow. unbelievably marvelous.
like fresh, cool water on a hot day.
nobody else had to get it. or feel it. or know it.
but i wondered if they did.
too awkward to ask...."hey, did you notice how peaceful i was?" ha.
i'll just savor it.
blessings.
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