Healing Power

Everyone has been given something that ministers to them.  A gift that enables them to make it through the hard times.  For me, it's this writing.  Being able to share my heart with words.  It makes the stuff inside feel like it has a purpose...to share with others, to bring hope, to show empathy.  Knowing that others can be helped by my situation being shared makes it better.  Healing in a small way. 
I don't know what brought you here today.  I assume you were searching because you are hurting.  Wondering about divorce.  Wondering if any other christian women have the questions that you have.  If you got here, I can only assume that God brought you.  And I want you to know that I can only share where I am walking.  What I am learning.  I don't have any hard and fast answers.  I having musings.  And thoughts.  And hopes.  I have things that I'm beginning to understand.  there's so much more to grace than I have ever understood before. 
But, if you are here, know that you aren't alone.  God loves you.  Even if it IS all your fault.  Even if you are the one who has messed everything up in your marriage.  And He will walk with you.  If you just ask.  He has a plan for you.  To benefit you.  To give you hope and a future.  I love that.  I NEED hope. 
Some of the stuff I write isn't very happy.  It's downright brutally honest.  If that brings you down, skip those things.  I am trying to be as honest as possible.  Sometimes I want to just spend hours putting it all out there just so that those who come will know how many different emotions and feelings and worries there can be.
I am in a place of needing time away.  I haven't asked yet.  Or told.  I keep forgetting....I don't need permission.  But, I can't guarantee how that is going to go.  I am hoping that it will go well.  But, it's very likely to  going to be received i the way which I intend it.  I want to be apart so that more bad doesn't build up.  I want to heal.  I want to see what there really is and isn't.  I want to know without the armor up for either of us what we truly do have and what we don't have.
But, if you want to piss someone off I think asking for a separation could well be at the top of the list.  So, I'll keep praying until I know it's time.  We'll see.